A coworker of mine just stopped by my cube to tell me he had given his notice, and that he got a full-time position at Maryville University teaching Art History. I said good for him!
I am not jealous of him in the “I wish my life was like his” kind of way. It falls more in line with “I’m jealous of you, because you have found a way out of TechPhob.”
I am really digging this writing thing, stressful as it may be with deadlines looming. It is putting me more and more into the academic mindset. My coworker got a job in the academic world after years of trying, and I couldn’t be happier for him. I admit I will miss him. Having a conversation with him was more stimulating than with the average Joe. But he got the kind of job I really want.
He is four years older than me, but I still have to even return to college and get my Ph.D. (or as it will turn out if I ever go back, a D.Sc.) My worry will always be that I will not be able to get into a graduate program. My lack of caring when I was in undergrad doomed me to a B- average for my B.A. (and I still wonder why a B.A. instead of a B.S.) Yes I had an A average in the courses for my major, but still.
All things come with time, right? I’ve always had a problem with that, especially the whole earning your due. Things come natural to me, and I am probably more gifted than most people I work with (okay, I have come to find out that it is very rare for me to meet someone I consider an equal.) I can’t help that I have always found things easy, or that I am good at a lot of stuff. I should get my due, without having to go through the process of waiting for it. I earn it because of who I am and what I can bring to the table! I just wish anyone else would see it that way.
If I find someone that knows more than me, it usually doesn’t take me very long to learn it myself, and then I learn it better and know it better – that is, if the subject even interests me. My biggest problem is staying focused on one subject. There is too much to learn in one lifetime, but by god, I am going to try.
Sorry for the abrupt topic changes; that is how my mind always works.